On the afternoon of June 14, 2025, I had the bittersweet privilege of leading the memorial service and giving the eulogy for my niece, Sabrina.  It is always hard to say goodbye to those we love and those who have been such an important part of our lives.  It is even harder when that parting happens before it should have and before anyone wanted it to be.

I share this eulogy with you so you might be comforted—whether you knew Sabrina, knew someone like her, or had to say goodbye too early to anyone.

~~nelia beth~~

Sabrina lived a life well-loved. 

She was loved by many people.

But the ones that come first to mind are her parents: Linda and Elden, and Mark.  
Her many siblings: Jennifer, Brian, Daniel, Angela, Kyle, Jen, Claire, Ellen, Tracy, and Shannon.

Her partner, Khamsing, and their daughter, Lilly Marie.

Sabrina lived a life well-loved.

She was loved by more than the people gathered here today, 
    and more people than we will ever know.  
When times got tough for Sabrina
    harder than anyone thought it should be 
    or wanted it to be
It was her family and friends who loved her.

At times tenderly,
    at other times fiercely;
At times up close 
    other times from a distance.
At times that love required 
    fighting for her;
At times, 
    letting her make her own way.
Sabrina lived a life well-loved.

~~~~

When I think of Sabrina, 
    and who she was: 
The words and voice that I hear
    are those of Margaret —
    Sabrina’s grandmother and my mother-in-law.
“Sabrina is a hard worker and a good helper.”

Margaret loved the weekly sleepovers she had with her grandchildren who lived nearby.
She spoke so lovingly about Sabrina’s visits.    
Margaret said Sabrina always wanted to help, 
    was always asking for something to do, 
    and was always willing to clean up. 

On occasion, 
    Joel and I were there when Sabrina 
    visited Margaret and Murry.  
And what I saw was a young girl who felt truly at home:  
    In part, because there was always something for her to do 
    and, in Margaret’s eyes at least, 
    she could do no wrong.

~~~~

While preparing for this service, 
    I heard more and more stories about Sabrina, 
I have come to believe that Sabrina was most like 
Jacob in the book of Genesis.

There are many, many stories told of Jacob in Genesis:
    He was the third patriarch in the line of Abraham and Isaac,
    and the father of the twelve sons 
    whose descendants became the tribes of Israel.

But he was most known for being a trickster,
    because Jacob insisted that he live his life on his own terms.

Even when coming out of the womb, 
    the story goes, 
    he grasped his brother Esau’s heel.

Jacob was never content with his lot in life as a second-born son.
    When he was young, 
    he tricked his brother Esau into trading a bowl 
    of stew for his birthright as the firstborn. 

And when his father was nearing death 
    and had lost most of his eyesight, 
Jacob tricked his father into giving him the blessing meant for Esau.

Like Sabrina, Jacob lived his life on his own terms.

Like Sabrina, Jacob was well-loved. 
Well-loved by his parents, Isaac and Rebekah, 
    who gave him all that they could and more.

Well-loved by his sibling, Esau, 
    Who surely had mixed emotions 
    about him and their relationship.
    Yet, Esau sought time after time to reconcile with him.

Well-loved by the family he raised
    — 12 sons and 1 daughter. 

Well-loved by his descendants, 
    who told and retold the stories about him so often
     that we have them recorded in scripture.

And Genesis makes it clear, he, like Sabrina, was well-loved by God,
    Whose guiding hand never left them, even in exile or conflict.

There is a glaring difference between Jacob and Sabrina—
    While Jacob lived a full and long life, 
    Sabrina’s life was shorter than it needed to be…
    And it is that glaring difference 
    that makes it so difficult for us today.
    That Sabrina’s life was far shorter 
    than any one of us here wanted it to be, 
    is not any person’s fault.

Like Jacob, 
    and like us too, 
    Sabrina lived her life on her own terms

And as Genesis clearly tells us, 
    not even God’s love and protection, 
    could protect Jacob from the consequences of poor decisions.

But even as we mourn her early passing,
    We come to celebrate.
    We come to celebrate a life well-loved, 
    A life lived on her own terms,

Beloved by her family and friends
    Beloved by God.

I suspect that Sabrina and Jacob also share something else—
    neither were fully able to believe 
    or experience how well-loved they were.

But I have no doubt, 
that Sabrina is right this very moment in God’s presence,
    surrounded by our family and friends who have gone before us. 

I suspect that she and Jacob are already good friends,
    hanging out together, 
    coming up with new tricks to play on others 
    and to make them laugh.  

Most of all, however, 
    Sabrina now knows in every part of her being and 
without any doubt, what so many people in her life tried to show her:  
    that she was loved just as she was.

Amen.